


I Finally Realized It Was There the Whole Time

by echoicdreamscape



Category: Saving Hope
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 16:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11339253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echoicdreamscape/pseuds/echoicdreamscape
Summary: A hiking AU.Maggie closes her eyes and pinches her nose with her other hand. Third time’s the charm. She reaches up again and finds air. Suddenly, she’s headed backwards when--a hand grasps her own and pulls her up. She uses her legs to aid the upward momentum from the stranger’s arm, landing on her knees on top of the incline.At last!“Thank you so much!” she says gratefully as she catches her breath. She looks up at her savior.A redheaded woman looks down at her, a wry smile on her face.





	I Finally Realized It Was There the Whole Time

**Author's Note:**

> The title was inspired by "Explore" by Prince of Spain.

Maggie grumbles and curses under her breath as she pushes yet another branch out of her way. Why did she have to decide to be an explorer and take the overgrown path, departing from the nice, sunny one? She’s walked three minutes on it now, through thistles, tall grass, and limited eyesight to the point that it would have been useless to turn back. She hopes that she encounters an intersecting paved trail soon.

“Damn it!” she mutters as she swats a bug on her arm. It’s the fifth since she started on the trail and of course she’s wearing a tank top that day.

A mild panic sets into her as she pushes her way through knee-height grass. What if she stays lost after the sun goes down? What if she’s heading toward nothing? What if there’s a serial killer hiding somewhere?

She sighs in relief at the sound of rushing water. Surely there are clean trails that lead to a creek! Everyone likes looking at creeks!

The sigh turns into a whining groan as she sees a rocky bank that leads to a gently running creek _with no trails on her side of it_. She looks across the water and of course there are three trails on the other side that incline sharply up to more grass. 

Maggie crosses her arms to think. Should she turn back and once again make her way through perilous tree branches and grass or cross the creek to a real trail? She looks at the creek to see if there’s any way she can cross.

“Aha!” There are a few rocks she can use as stepping stones. She makes her way across the first two with ease, but notices the third isn’t quite flat. She knows that it’ll tilt when she steps on it, but she’s already one-third of the way across. Maggie exhales and carefully transfers her weight to her right foot, putting it on the unbalanced stone. With the dexterity of a gymnast on a balance beam, she quickly uses it to hop across to the next stone. 

_Nicely done, Maggie,_ she congratulates herself.

She feels considerably less panicked and quite proud of herself until she sees that there’s only one rock left and a good four feet of creek between that and the opposing bank. _Well, shit._ She has no choice but to use the last rock as leverage and long jump to the other rocky shore.

Maggie steels herself for the athletic endeavor. _I can do this. ___

Maggie puts her weight on her back foot, preparing to launch onto the rock. With a determined mind she propels herself onto the rock, then pushes off with her right foot, flying in the air…and lands her left in the creek.

“DAMN IT!” she yells, exasperated. 

It’s not the worst thing that could have happened, but now she’s going to have to walk all the way back with a wet sock inside an even wetter shoe. This just really isn’t a good day for her.

And now she has to make her way up a twenty foot, seventy-degree incline to reach the next trail. Where that trail leads, she has no idea.

Maggie steels herself and begins to make her way up, cursing silently at her left foot. She loathes the feeling of her foot sliding around in her wet sock. She stomps the first ten feet up until the incline becomes steeper. Maggie’s not sure if she can make it up, but she can’t give up now. She’s two feet from the top and breathing heavily when she makes an attempt to grab the top. 

“Whoa!” She misses and almost falls back, but manages to catch her balance.

She gives it another shot, determined to make it up. She lands a hand that returns with mud on it. Maggie closes her eyes and pinches her nose with her other hand. Third time’s the charm. She reaches up again and finds air. Suddenly, she’s headed backwards when-

-a hand grasps her own and pulls her up. She uses her legs to aid the upward momentum from the stranger’s arm, landing on her knees on top of the incline. _At last!_

“Thank you so much!” she says gratefully as she catches her breath. She looks up at her savior.

A redheaded woman looks down at her, a wry smile on her face.

“You okay there?”

Maggie stands up. “Oh, you know-just taking the road less traveled.”

The woman raises her eyebrows and looks doubtful. “Looks like you took the road that has never been traveled on.”

Maggie lets out a short laugh and notices the mud on the other woman’s hand.

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry!” She flails about, looking around for something to clean the woman’s hand.

“Don’t worry about it,” the woman replies. She reaches into her bag and pulls out two tissues, handing one to Maggie.

“You’re well-prepared,” Maggie notices, impressed. She also notices that the other woman is wearing a long sleeve t-shirt and pants on a sunny day.

“Whoa, aren’t you hot?” Maggie is amazed and slightly worried.

“Oh, it’s a Jewish thing. Tzniut dictates that women cover their elbows and knees. I’m used to it.” 

“Wow.”

An awkward silence fills the gap.

“Uh, I’m Maggie, by the way.” She automatically holds out her hand to shake and withdraws it. “I’d shake your hand, but that’s probably not a good idea.”

The other woman smiles slightly. “I’m Sydney.”

* * *

Maggie doesn’t see Sydney again for another week. She spends the time in between pulling night shifts, dealing with two breech babies, and performing one emergency c-section at three in the morning. Needless to say, she needs some time alone to unwind and taking an hour-long hike sounds like the perfect plan.

After a while, she spots Sydney walking twenty feet in front of her, wearing her customary black long sleeve shirt and black pants. Maggie still doesn’t know how she can survive like that. She walks slowly behind her before impulsively deciding to catch up. She taps on Sydney’s shoulder, thankful that the other woman doesn’t jump. She has a surprisingly unflappable bearing.

“Hey, I wanted to thank you again for saving me last week. I probably would have been serial killed if it weren’t for you.” Maggie gives her an appreciative smile.

Sydney lets out a chuckle. “It was no problem. How are you, Maggie?”

“Ugh, so tired. I can’t wait to go home after this.” 

“Busy day?”

Maggie lifts a hand to wipe her forehead. “Busy week. I got really unlucky at the hospital.”

Sydney stops in her tracks, causing Maggie to stop as well.

“You work at a hospital, too?”

Maggie raises her eyebrows and puts her hands on her hips. “Yeah, I work at Hope Zion! I’m an OB.”

Sydney raises her eyebrows, too. “What a coincidence! I’m an OB at Mount Sinai.”

Maggie claps a hand to her forehead. “This is crazy!”

Sydney continues walking and Maggie falls into step with her.

“So tell me what happened this past week.”

* * *

It turns out that Sydney is a very attentive listener and dishes out some pretty solid advice. They make plans to walk together again at the end of the week, when they both have free time. 

Maggie realizes that while walking alone is a destresser, walking with someone who can empathize is even better.

They continue their walk and talks for three weeks in a row when Maggie decides to take their friendship a bit further.

“Hey, I know a juice bar close to here if you’d like to come with me.” They’re both sweating, Sydney decidedly more so, and Maggie is craving something cold and sweet.

Sydney bites her lip. “Sure, that sounds good.” She hopes Maggie doesn’t catch onto her slight hesitation.

“How about I’ll drive us there and drop you off back here? It’s only five minutes away,” Maggie offers.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Here’s what Maggie learns during the two hours they spend there: Sydney is engaged to a man but doesn’t seem too happy about it, she tells adorably lame jokes-wait, adorable? Sydney obtained a staff position at twenty-seven years old _and that was two years ago_ , so she’s crazy smart. Finally, Maggie learns that she may have a slight attraction to her…but she can’t really tell.

Here’s what Sydney learns: Maggie is single, she has a great sense of humor, she’s an intuitive and patient listener, so she’s very popular with her patients. Finally, Sydney learns that her attraction to her is very real.

Maggie drops Sydney off at her car and they depart with plans to meet up again the next week.

* * *

“Sooo, who’s the new man in your life?” Alex smiles as she takes a seat in the break room across from Maggie.

“No new man,” Maggie replies offhandedly as she plays around on her phone. “Wait, what makes you say that?”

“Come on, Mags, it’s clear you’re seeing someone! You’ve got it written all over your face!” Alex gives her an understanding smile.

“I’m serious! I’m not seeing anyone!” Maggie says this a little too forcefully.

Alex raises her eyebrows.

“But…?”

Maggie sighs. She can’t keep anything from Alex.

“I met someone a month ago. We get along really well, but they’re engaged. And I don’t know if I’m-if this is even real!”

Alex hums. “Engaged, now there’s a tough one. Well, you seem really happy lately, Mags.”

“Confused is more like it,” Maggie mutters under her breath.

“Well, whatever you figure out, let me know.” Alex pats her on the shoulder.

* * *

Maggie sees Sydney again two days later. She’s still processing her feelings for the other woman. She’s never really been attracted to women before, not in an “I want to date you” way. And they’re still kind of strangers, anyway! Aren’t they?

Sydney greets her in the parking lot but Maggie can tell she’s not really present.

“What’s wrong?” Maggie’s concerned. The last time she saw Sydney, she was so vibrant and talkative.

Sydney looks down at the ground as she links her hands together. “Herschel and I broke up.”

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry!” Maggie doesn’t know what to say after that.

Sydney looks at her, and Maggie can see conflict in her eyes. 

“What happened?”

“I’m-uh-I couldn’t marry him. I’m…” Sydney rubs her arm and twists her mouth, fighting to let the words out.

“I’m gay.”

Maggie’s heart jumps a little. Sydney says it so resignedly, so sadly, that she doesn’t know what to say. Maggie knows the implications of being gay in Sydney’s community. She will be ostracized from probably the most important thing in her life if she comes out, but she has to be true to herself at the same time.

“Thank you for telling me,” Maggie says as softly as possible. She stares at the angry red mark Sydney is absentmindedly rubbing into her arm.

“I don’t know what to do.” Sydney looks lost.

Maggie puts her hands on her hips. “Hmm…there are online support communities where you can talk to other people going through the same thing. And I’m here.”

Sydney still looks anguished, but gives her the smallest of smiles. “I appreciate it, Maggie.”

* * *

It’s four days after when they meet up again. Maggie has continued her inner turmoil figuring out exactly she feels for the other woman. She actually has a chance now; they’re both single, Sydney is definitely into girls, and they seem compatible. But is what she’s feeling a friendship connection or something more?

Sydney’s got her long sleeve shirt pushed up to her elbows when Maggie greets her. 

“Hey, isn’t that against Tanzania or Taznut or something?”

“Tzniut. I think that if I’m defying my religion by simply existing, I might as well be more lax with other things.” Sydney looks uncomfortable, but not as bad as she was the last time.

Maggie shrugs. “You ready?”

“Yes, let’s head out.”

Maggie notices the changes in Sydney over the next month. She starts to wear short sleeve shirts but keeps the pants. She opens up to Maggie more about resolving the friction between her religion and her sexuality. They linger longer before they depart, talking about random things until they run out of ideas. They walk together twice a week and go to dinner afterwards, and Maggie finds herself solving her problem.

She wants to date Sydney.

She’s not gay, and she’s still not sure if she would be into other women, but she wants to date Sydney.

It’s a beautiful Friday evening. Maggie and Sydney are walking back to Maggie’s car after dinner. Maggie had spent dinner surreptitiously glancing down at Sydney’s lips and catching herself before Sydney noticed. She wants to act on her feelings, but she doesn’t know if Sydney would be okay with that. There are dragonflies flashing around them, the sun is setting, painting the sky a wonderful orange and purple, and Sydney is alternating between quick glances at Maggie and the pavement.

“Is something wrong?” Maggie asks.

Sydney stops walking and Maggie follows suit. Sydney appears to be having an internal battle as she pauses. Her eyes dart between Maggie’s own, perhaps searching for some sort of resolution. Maggie gives her an unsure smile.

“Are you-“

Sydney pushes her against a brick wall and presses a lingering kiss to her lips, withdrawing quickly after Maggie kisses back. 

“Oh.” 

Sydney turns beet red. “Sorry, I just-“

“No, it’s okay, I-“

Sydney’s looking everywhere but at her.

“I’m just going to walk back to my car. I’ll see you next Monday.”

“Oh, okay.” 

Sydney turns around quickly and speed walks away.

Maggie touches a hand to her lips.

Huh.

* * *

Maggie doesn’t see Sydney again for a month and a half after that. She had shown up on Monday, as planned, and waited twenty minutes until she realized Sydney wasn’t going to show. Either Sydney had forgotten (who is she kidding, Sydney never forgets anything) or she was avoiding her. Maggie is furious at herself for not getting Sydney’s number. She had looked up Sydney’s contact information on the internet, but can’t bring herself to send her an email. What would she say, anyway? Hey, I liked that kiss and would like to kiss you some more? Also, where did you go? I miss you?

She throws herself into her work instead, and Alex notices one day how grumpy she is.

“Where did my ball of sunshine go? Oh, did that person get married?”

Maggie humphs. “No, they broke up but we don’t talk anymore.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Alex pats Maggie’s hand. “I was rooting for you.”

Maggie gives her a grim smile. “Yeah…”

* * *

Maggie walks along the longest trail at the park, lost in thought. Walking alone after walking with Sydney for two months is an unwelcome change, but she’s getting used to it now that it’s been a month and a half without her. It’s not like her to get hung up about someone for so long. She thinks about how gorgeous Sydney was, how she was so kind and intelligent, how she loved her wittiness, how-

She hears a voice from her right. 

“Whoever you are up there, could you give me a hand?” 

Maggie stops in her tracks. She knows that voice. Shit. In a haze, she reaches her hand down and makes eye contact with Sydney. Sydney opens her mouth in surprise but takes her hand, allowing Maggie to pull her up.

“Thanks, Maggie.” She crosses and uncrosses her legs, and she’s not sure what to do with her arms.

Maggie nods silently.

“I-how have-“

“Where have you been?” The words fall out of Maggie’s mouth. “We had plans and you-“ Maggie breaks off her sentence, not wanting to embarrass herself.

Sydney sighs, but not in exasperation. She seems almost disappointed, maybe shameful. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I got a promotion that day and got so busy. I…didn’t have time.”

Maggie stops her anger before it continues to rise. “Promotion?”

Sydney scratches her arm. Maggie notices it seems to be a nervous habit for her. 

“I-uh-I’m the Head of Obstetrics and Gynecology.” She smiles sheepishly, looking down at the ground.

Maggie’s eyes bug out as her jaw drops. “Head?! At twenty-nine years old?!” 

Sydney nods.

“That’s amazing, Syd!” Sydney blinks at Maggie’s 180.

“Thanks?”

Maggie sobers up quickly, though. “You could have called or emailed. I’m not that hard to find.” She hopes she doesn’t sound too desperate.

Sydney looks down again. “I’m sorry, Maggie,” she says again. “After that night I didn’t know what to do. I was…scared.”

“I scare you?” Maggie’s worried and a hundred thoughts flit through her head. She can’t focus on a single one.

“Scared of the feelings I had for you.” Sydney finally looks her in the eye.

“You’re one to talk! I felt the same way!” Maggie scoffs. 

“You did?”

Maggie nods like it’s obvious.

“Do you-I mean-I still…” Sydney has lost all coherent thought and decides to shut her mouth.

“I’ve never felt this way before, especially about a woman,” Maggie starts. “I mean, gender doesn’t have to do with it! I mean-“ Maggie takes a deep breath. “But I wanted to give it a try. Give us a try.”

Sydney steels herself. “We were kind of half dating already, weren’t we?” She gives Maggie a nervous half smile.

Maggie lets herself chuckle, just a little bit. “Yes, we were.”

Sydney takes a step closer to her. Slowly, she reaches out to take Maggie’s hands and looks her in the eyes. “I’d like to full date you, if you want. If you can forgive me.” 

Butterflies erupt in Maggie’s stomach at Sydney’s touch. She has to maintain control over herself, at least until she can say these next words. “Yes, on one condition.”

Sydney’s eyebrows draw together in worry. “What is it?”

“You give me your phone number.”

Sydney closes her eyes and huffs out a laugh. 

“Of course.”

* * *

Maggie strides into the on-call room, bent on changing out her sweaty scrubs.

“Maggie?” Alex’s groggy voice comes from a bed.

“Yep, hold on, let me change.”

Maggie faces her locker and takes off her top. She hears an audible gasp from behind her.

“Oh my God, Maggie, what the hell happened?!” Alex sounds horrified.

“What? Is something wrong?” Maggie turns around.

Alex points at her. “Your back! It’s all-“ She breaks off, then smirks. “Finally got together with that once engaged girl, huh?”

Maggie’s face flushes and she turns around quickly to pull on a new top. 

“Who says it’s a girl?” she says, muffled inside her shirt.

“I knew the moment you referred to her as a ‘they’. I’m so happy for you, Mags!”

Maggie pulls the top down. “Thanks, Alex.”

“So when do I get to meet her? And what’s her name? What does she do?”

Maggie holds up her hands and laughs. “Whoa, whoa, one question at a time!”

Alex sits there and waits for a response. They have a short staring contest until Maggie gives in.

Maggie sighs. “Her name is Sydney Katz, she’s an-“

“OB! Sydney _Katz_?! _The_ Sydney Katz?!” Alex’s eyes are wide as she jumps up from the bed.

“You know of her?! How?” Amazed, Maggie leans back against the locker.

“Haven’t you read the new edition of JAMA? She pretty much invented the new fetal echocardiogram parameters to detect heart defects in utero! I heard she became the Head of Obstetrics at Sinai recently and she’s only-“

“Twenty-nine, I know.” Maggie smiles proudly. “She’s amazing.”

Alex arches an eyebrow. “She’s amazing at something, that’s for sure. Or maybe you’re the one who’s amazing?” She makes a face. “…Ew.”

Maggie grimaces back at her. “Let’s stop there.” 

“I can’t believe you’re dating Sydney Katz! She’s like _the_ rising star everyone’s talking about! Hell, we all read the journal together this morning! Everyone except you!”

“How come I’m the only one who doesn’t know all of this?”

“Because you’re too busy banging-I mean dating- her to pay attention?”

“Fair enough. I’ll have to tell her how you freaked out when I see her tonight.” Maggie smirks playfully.

“You’d better not, Mags. Your girlfriend’s probably showered with that stuff already.”

“The only thing she’s showered with is me-in the morning.” Maggie points finger guns at Alex and winks.

“Ugh, I’m so glad to see you happy again, but ugh.” Alex lays back down.

Maggie laughs as she exits the room.

**Author's Note:**

> I've been hiking a lot lately and was inspired to write this partially from my own experience. Unfortunately, this experience was Maggie's at the beginning when she was lost on an unkempt trail. That's right, I actually hopped over that creek, drowned my foot, and had to climb a crazy high incline after. While I did encounter a cute girl who smiled at me (gasp!), nothing happened, haha. I hope y'all enjoyed this!


End file.
